You Must Be At Least This Tall To Ride The Labyrinthe

In truth, there is no beginning to the story. Wherever you look you can see a hidden history just behind your focus. This history does not determine who we are, but at the same time we are not entirely free of it. Somehow both and neither are true.

My feeling is that I am entering my path essentially naked, unprepared, and inexperienced. I was raised as well as could be expected considering that my mother could not see the future and know the life I wanted to live. I have no disappointment in her as a parent, and yet it is true that she was not really capable of teaching me how to live the life I was meant for; she raised me to be able to live the way she does, and it is only that I am innately so different that I must now abandon the life which she prepared me for.

Don't think I'm trying to avoid responsibility, here. I've had a good ten years or more since my scheduled indoctrination (schooling) ended in which I should have been able to make some headway towards my dreams. Sadly, I must admit that I do not have strength of will. There's a young woman in my class who went (from Pennsylvania) to Wudang Mountain for two years to study traditional martial arts. Now that, I think, indicates a very strong will which I admire greatly. Especially since she's only 21 now. It's taken me all of this time just to acquire the courage to move to the other side of the same country and pursue something within my culture's purview (albeit on the fringes). I look at her, and I feel like I'm late to the game. And that it's my fault.

I'm one of two newbies in a class of seven. The younger members have previous experience in standalone classes and training; two of the older members have been rather extensively involved in nature oriented lifestyles for years. Thankfully, everyone is very accepting and none are condescending. This is good, because I like to ask many stupid questions to fill the gaps in my understanding.

My point, if indeed I have one, is that if you're reading this and you know you're on square zero, that's ok. So was I. All it takes is extended trauma sufficient to break your addiction to your previous life, and then at that point change is pretty much inevitable. What I wrote above implies that I have acquired some measure of courage. Another equally valid perspective is that I was simply to weak to continue living my previous life. Did I take a stand or choose the path of least resistance?

Well, due to my particular perspective on the nature of truth, the answer to that question is yes. In any case, the end has been good enough to justify the means. And it's only been three weeks.